I Heart Yard Sales!!!!
I can never pass them up. I have really turned into an expert at getting a SUPER deal. I can name my own price and save hundreds!
Let me show you a few examples:
First off...The CHINA.
This is a great story. I was over at my friend Whitney's house and she was washing all of her china from a dinner party she had hosted the night before.
Me: "What beautiful china!"
Whitney: "Thanks, it's been in the family for three generations and some day I will pass it down to my daughter."
Me: "Wow, that's neat, how much are you asking for it?"
Whitney: "I'm not selling it."
Me: (oh she's good) "I see, you think you might offend me with a number, come on give it to me straight, I can handle it."
Whitney: "It's not for sale, stop it!"
Me: "What is that over there?" (pointing to another place).
Whitney: "What, where, I don't see anything!"
She turns around to find me gone, and a fifty dollar bill sitting on the counter where her china was. I was watching through the window, I saw her tear up. She didn't expect me to be so generous I guess. Check out this china though, I mean WOW, fifty bucks for all of this!
I was out walking one night and I heard some laughter coming from within a house. I went on in to see what was so funny and I found a woman balancing on an exercise ball (see picture below).
Me: (laughing) "Cool trick, can I try?"
Stranger #1: "Who are you and why are you in my home?"
Me: "How much do you want for that ball?"
Stranger #2: "I'm going to give you 5 seconds to get out of my house before I call the police!"
Me: "I can see you like to do business fast." (I then kick the ball as hard as I can, sending the woman flying up, and what does she land on? The quarter I had tossed to take the ball's place.)
Woman: "Ouch!"
See the ball though? I have super strong abs now, and it only cost a quarter!
I am so tired of paying retail for my family's clothing needs. I have found out that people are selling really nice stuff at yard sales, some of it still has tags on it. You just have to know where to look. What I do is stake out really nice houses. I watch for them to come home from shopping with nice department store bags. That's when I make my move.
Me: "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you just bought new clothes."
Rich Person: "Do I know you?"
Me: "Perhaps we can come to an agreement. I'm here to buy all of those old clothes you are selling."
Rich Person: "Huh? Is this some sort of a joke?"
Me: "Yard sales are no joke to me. What do you want for all of those clothes you have sitting in your upstairs laundry room?"
Rich Person: (perspiring) "You know what, um...why don't you just take all of those clothes and never come back, OK?"
Me: (laughing) "Oh, you rich people are so wasteful!"
There was a ton of clothes, it took me 4 trips to get it all in my car. I did leave a fiver on the dryer, a true yard sale expert must always be fair (nobody wants to give away stuff).
I don't even know what I'm going to do with all of these clothes, they don't fit any of us.
I'll probably just have to sell them in my next.....Yard Sale!
8 years ago
3 comments:
Hahaha...I think I have met you before. Did you buy some tools that were not forsale at my last garage sale (which is where the tools were in plain site but not included in the getting rid of merchandise, but were sold none the less)?
I would give all the money in the world for 15 minutes inside your head! By the way, my bum shot on that exercise ball has made it onto two blogs now...keep 'em coming! Let's try for 5.)
Wonderful Melissa, every week you are so unique (no pressure), and brighten my soul!!! I sure like it when real people like this "help themselves" to your stuff that is not for sale!
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